First Victory Since Turn Of Millennia, New AMD Processors Rival Intel, Refocuses On CPU Market

Depending on reports one, two or three women and possibly one male, while visiting the tomb of AMD, discovered the entrance stone has been rolled away and the festering necrotic corpse that lay inside was absent.

Accounts from twelve dudes further indicate that the zombied semiconductor manufacturer has once again risen from the grave with  the release of its Ryzen series central processing units. Marketed as having a 4% lead on Intel’s more advanced processors, the marginal lead is highighlighted compared to the pricing differences. The slightly faster AMD CPUs are priced at up to a third competing processors released by AMD competitor He Who Should Not Be Named, Intel, Dark Lord of the Sith.

Recapping AMD’s utter defeat to Intel during the turn of the century, AMD’s utter defeat to nVidia through its acquisition of ATI, AMD’s utter defeat to embedded system on chip designer ARM, etc… of course no one has been crucified more than AMD and Intel competitor Cyrix.

With Huge Lead: Sprint Dominating Last Place

Sprint is dominating 4th place in a recent a United States regional comparison of LTE availability, published by Open Signal Maps. Sprint is dominating the 4th cellular carrier position by offering half the coverage than the third place contender, AT&T.

Number two provider, T-Mobile, continues to provide better LTE availability than all other carriers, except for Verizon, while offering better LTE speeds than Verizon, if you live on the wrong coast. Verizon still offers the best LTE available and LTE speeds in all other areas, as reported by the analysis.

For those who live outside the LTE availability of Verizon may benefit from T-Mobile’s faster 3G HSPA+ network speeds.

Verizon is now offering unlimited cellular data plans, again. If you were grand mothered and haven’t been able to upgrade your phones without risking losing your unlimited plan you may want to revisit your Verizon plan.
In other news Google-Fi continues to lose their user base as more and more of users are realizing that the T-Mobile + Sprint < T-Mobile equation indicates that the Sprint variable is less than 0.

Executive Order 8: Google Now Launcher To Be Removed From Play Store

In a stunning display of power Reigning President Donald Trump has signed in to law Executive Order 13772 requiring Google to cease development of the popular Google Now Launcher. A statement was released by Google expressing their “deep concerns” about the decision but went on to assuage consumer fears stating,

“… while deeply troubling, President Supreme Trump’s decision will allow [Google] to focus  efforts on their Search Launcher as an alternative for the American ‘People’…”

Later today Near News Today will cover a potential Executive Order to establish an Electoral Junior College in what the White House hopes will be,

“… a bridge between Corporate America and the undereducated youth of America…”